Elul 3: The Secret by Norman Lear

Do you know about the Jewels of Elul? It is a daily meditation for the month of Elul, which leads up to Rosh Hashanah. Craig Taubman and Rabbi David Wolpe are in their 8th year of coordinating and sharing thoughts from a wide variety of people to help us in our preparation for the season of repentance and renewal. Three days ago (I am behind), they shared this gem from Norman Lear, a famous Jewish educator (many of us attended his classes on television: All in the Family, the Jeffersons, Maude, Sanford and Son and Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman, just to name a few). This year the focus is on the art of aging. After reading this, I hope you will go to the Jewels of Elul site. There you can read the introduction to the series, get caught up, and sign up to receive them via e-mail each day this Hebrew month. In advance - L'shana Tova!

Ira

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Age has been on my mind all my life. When I was a kid I had a giant shock of black hair that was like a helmet because it was stiff with a product called ‘Slickum’. To comb it, I had to dip my head in the sink and wash my hair every day. That’s the first time I can remember thinking, “What if this is the secret to a long life? Dipping your head in the sink every morning. How do we know?” Since then there have been hundreds of other odd activities – eating a Tootsie Roll just before dinner, picking one’s nose while driving – that I’ve thought might contain that secret. For years I’ve eaten a salad every morning, and all but convinced myself that’s it. (At the least, it must come closer than the nose thing.)

I have been privileged to share my lifetime with dozens of my friends and colleagues, some of the funniest people I know. Bea Arthur made me laugh so hard I felt it in nooks and crannies of my body I didn’t know existed. I was there when an exchange between Mel Brooks and Carl Reiner turned into the 2,000-Year-Old Man. I really believe that the true secret to longevity could be laughter. It might be the memory of a slapstick scene, or a lineof dialogue by Larry Gelbart or Herb Gardner, or one of the hundreds of moments on one of my shows when an actor – an O’Connor, a Hemsley, a Lasser or a Stapleton – took what was on the page and turned it into something funnier than I could have ever imagined. Or today, something from South Park, Family Guy, Modern Family or Louis C.K.

All of it, I’m convinced, has and still does add time to my life.

Norman Lear is a producer, director, writer, activist and philanthropist. His credits include All in the Family and The Jeffersons. www.normanlear.com

Starting a New School Year: Nine Tips for Collaboration

As I did yesterday in The Power of the Positive Phone Call Home , I am sharing another great post from the bloggers at Edutopia designed for new teachers but useful to all teachers. It was written by Terrell Heick, described as an "educator focused on social improvement through learning innovation." That's him at the left. I think he has some very keen insights for teachers and translating them to the religious school setting does not require a lot of sweat. I invite your suggestions and interpretations. BTW: PLN is Professional Learning Network - those colleagues, both in person and online, with and from whom you learn and explore your own professional development.

Photo credit: weejin

August 21, 2012

Late August or early September is a make-it-or-break-it time for educators. The non-stop, brutal schedule that is a school year starts with all the finesse of trampling elephants, and doesn’t relent for the next nine months (not coincidentally, the same amount of time it takes to gestate a baby). That makes starting the year right important -- and there are few more critical pieces to an educator's success than collaboration.

Collaborating In the Classroom
 

1) Call Home

Yes, having a blog is great, and you're ahead of the curve if you use Edmodo, Facebook, Schoology or any other of a number of platforms built to help educators and families connect. But as busy as you -- and the parents of your students -- are, the more personal the initial communication, the better. If you can make five phone calls each day before heading home, you should be able to reach out with a positive message to each parent by the end of the first month of school. An alternative is hand-written postcards, but phone calls -- or better yet, face-to-face meetings -- are ideal.

2) Use Team-Building Activities

Team-building activities are excellent ways to get the year started right by connecting with students. So many students believe that they're starting off the year at a major deficit. Success -- or mere participation -- in an early team-building activity can change that.

3) Know the Names

This can be huge challenge for some teachers (don't ask me how I know), but do whatever it takes to learn the names of your students. Use your district's grade and attendance software if it provides student images from the year before. Developing five-minute games to start each class will help speed the process. Use assigned seats or nametags. Whatever you do, learn those names, and do so quickly. Nothing de-authenticates a relationship quicker than, "I really care about your learning Mr. -- wait, what's your name again?"

Collaborating In Your Building and District
 

4) Step Out of Your Comfort Zone

We all have comfort zones, some more confined than others. You need not live beyond your comfort all the time, but don't be afraid to step outside your normal stomping grounds to make new friends, or at least show yourself to be accessible, curious and ultimately collaborative even if you're not a social butterfly.

5) Show Up Early to Meetings

Oftentimes, more collaboration happens in the five minutes before a meeting than in the meeting itself. Showing up early isn't always easy, but if you're going to try, better August than March. And during meetings, try building off your colleagues' ideas in PLCs, Data-Team, team and staff meetings. This can go a long way toward laying the groundwork for future collegial dynamics. Using stems like "Piggy-backing off what Lianne said . . . ," or "Duane's insight regarding the posting of learning targets was spot-on . . . " helps build a collaborative atmosphere that's conducive to deeper future connections.

6) Use Post-it Notes

The most thoughtful ways to collaborate are also the simplest. Post-it notes reacting to an idea given at a staff meeting or thanking another educator for his or her effort are casual but meaningful ways to build trust and a collaborative spirit in a school. Stick one to the screen or door of a fellow educator with a specific, authentic message, and establish the helpful tone of your working relationship early on.

Your Global PLN
 

7) Ask for Help

Early in the year, many other educators worldwide face the same challenges you do. Pinging your PLN early on can make them feel needed, and equip you with resources it might have taken you hours of Googling to find.

8) Connect Little with Big

Connecting your local colleagues with those national and global can spark new professional relationships while honoring everybody involved by showing that you're thinking of each one. And because keeping distance through digital networks is easy, it’s totally different from setting up your best friend for a blind date. Totally.

9) Prune your Networks

While that Pinterest account or Facebook group may have served you well last year or even last month, our needs as educators change as we grow. You may need more of this, and less of that. So prune your networks without guilt. Move on. The world's greatest teachers survived for millennia without social media. Your world won't stop spinning because you stop using the platform that you held so dearly this time last year. In fact, I'd be more concerned if changes weren't made.

 

It's About the People

Getting the school year started right can mean calling home with a positive message, stepping out of your comfort zone or simply asking for help. The connections you make in August can serve you well through the trials of K-12 education. You never know when you're going to need help -- from an encouraging smile to a better way to assess a standard. While the Internet and social media are great, they are merely tools to connect you with the people behind all of the accounts. With so much to do, it can be easy to push collaboration back, but this can have a long-term erosive effect on your happiness in teaching.

The earlier you start, the easier it becomes.

The Power of the Positive Phone Call Home

Summer is speeding to a close. Camp and vacation are over (Prague was wonderful - I will tell you about soonish). Working like crazy to get ready for the new year when this posting from Edutopia came across my inbox. Edutopia has been a favorite professional resource for many years, starting back in the days it was a printed magazine.

They have a fantastic New Teacher Support section, and today's piece by Elena Aguilar is fantastic. I have asked my religious school teachers to have a "just because" conversation by phone with each of their student's parents by the end of October every year. Most do it. And most of the great feedback I hear from parents come after that call happens. They are thrilled and delighted by it. It is more direct conversation than they have during our "Meet the Morim" session or even during pick up or drop off. You don;t have to be a new teacher to get the importance of this. Enjoy. The original is found at http://www.edutopia.org/blog/power-positive-phone-call-home-elena-aguilar.

Ira

Elena Aguilar
Transformational
Leadership Coach
from Oakland, California

August 20, 2012

When I first started teaching and was overwhelmed by the demands and complexity of the job, my survival strategy was simply to take all the advice that came my way and implement it. So when my wise mentor suggested that after the first day of school I call all of my second grader's parents, I did so.

In spite of my exhaustion, I called each family and introduced myself. I asked a few questions about their child. I said that their kid had had a good first day. I said I looked forward to working together.

Throughout that year, and the years that followed, I continued this practice -- I had an intuitive feelings that it was key: The positive phone call home. After the first days, as soon as I'd identified the kids who might be challenging, I made it a goal to call home with positive news every week. I'd share this goal with my students, greeting them at the door with something like: "I'm so excited to see you this morning, Oscar! I am going to be watching you really closely today so find some good news to share with your mom this evening. I can't wait to call her and tell her what a good day you had!"

When I taught middle school, this strategy made the difference between an unmanageable group of kids and an easy group. You'd be surprised, perhaps, how desperately an eighth grade boy wants his mom (or dad or grandma or pastor) to get a positive call home. On the first day of school I'd give students a survey that included this question, "Who would you like me to call when I have good news to share about how you're doing in my class? You're welcome to list up to five people. And please let them know I might call -- even tonight or tomorrow!"

First I'd call parents of the kids who I knew would be challenging, those I suspected rarely got positive calls. When an adult answered the phone, I'd say, all in one long breath, "Hi Mrs. ____? I'm calling from ____ middle school with great news about your son, ____. Can I share this news?" If I didn't immediately blurt out the "great news" pieces, sometimes they'd hang up on me or I'd hear a long anxious silence.

Some of these kids were difficult, extremely difficult. However, I was always able to find something sincerely positive about what he or she had done. As the days followed, I kept calling -- "I just wanted to share that today when ____ came into my class he said 'good morning' to me and opened his notebook right away. I knew we'd have a good day!" Sometimes I'd stop in the middle of class and in front of all the students I'd call a parent. The kids loved that. They started begging for me to call their parent too. It was the first choice of reward for good behavior -- "just call my mama and tell her I did good today."

What shocked and saddened me were the parents who would say, "I don't think anyone has ever called me from school with anything positive about my child." I occasionally heard soft sobbing during these calls.
I'd first used this phone call thing as a strategy for managing behavior and building partnerships and it worked. However, after ten years of teaching I became a parent and my feelings shifted into some other universe. As a parent, I now can't think of anything more I want a teacher to do -- just recognize what my boy is doing well, when he's trying, when he's learning, when his behavior is shifting, and share those observations with me.

I know how many hours teachers work. And I also know that a phone call can take three minutes. If every teacher allocated 15 minutes a day to calling parents with good news, the impact could be tremendous. In the long list of priorities for teachers, communicating good news is usually not at the top. But try it -- just for a week -- try calling a few kid's parents (and maybe not just the challenging ones -- they all need and deserve these calls) and see what happens. The ripple effects for the kid, the class, and the teacher might be transformational.

Help my campers learn...about God (Part I)

Last week, I invited you to contribute to a conversation I was having with a group of teenagers at Eisner camp about Middot (ethical values). Some of you did, and thank you very much! You enriched the discussion with your ideas and the campers felt appreciated by you. Beginning yesterday I began learning with a new group of campers (entering 8^th and 9^th grade) with anew topic - God. Here is the description they were given:

God. Really? You are faced with tons of choices every day. Some you make automatically. Others require some serious thought. Where do you look for the values you will apply to make your decisions? Your parents? Your friends? Society all around us? Judaism? We are going to look in all of those places to wrestle with some tough issues. Then we are going to take our conversation online and go viral. We will create a blog using writing and video and send it out to the universe. Then we will see what the universe says and engage in a potentially viral conversation!

So once again, dear readers, colleagues and friends, I invite you to read both the questions I posed them and some of the answers (there are 21 of them, so it takes a long time - check back later for more responses) they wrote in their journals before beginning the conversation. Please post your answers in the comment section below or on my Facebook or via e-mail (I will transfer it back here. If for some reason you prefer to remain anonymous, the comment section here will allow it or ask me to make it so in your message to me. In advance, thank you for participating in this crowdsourcing experience!

1. Describe the God you believe in (or don't believe in):

BR: The God I don't believe in grants miracles and actually hears us when we pray.

JM: God is not real and does nto look or sound like anything. 

LDM: For me, God is an image to go to or think of when you need answers. Some people need an answer to everything, so they turn to God or a holy piece of writing. I do believe in God, because I am one of those people who needs answers.

SC: I'm not sure if I believe in God, but the God I do not believe in is the one that elts war happen, innocent people get hurt and people we love die. The God I do believe in creates miracles and wonders in the everyday world.

SPS: I don't believe that there is a man or a woman or a being that is all-knowing and all-mighty.

KK: I don't believe in a God that is all-knowing and powerful, or one that controls everything that occurs. If God was that powerful, things like the Holocaust wouldn't have happened and God would have protected the Jews.

TS: I don't believe in a God that is in everything or a God that makes things happen on their own without real people acting on it or trying.

JF: What is God to me? Many people have different perceptions of God, but I have my own. God isn;t a life-like creator, he is a listener.Everybody needs someone to look up to or someone who is always there for them. When I'm in pain and I don't want to say anything, I speak out loud when no one else is around.

BM-P:  I'm not sure exactly what I believe in. I haven't quite figured it out yet. I think there isn't NO God, but I don;t think there is an all-powerful God that decides everything.

2. One time when I had a sense that God might be near was...

BR: When I sat at the Kotel and put a message between the stones.

JM: No time at all. 

LDM: Every time I pray I think that God can hear me. I mean, I know that isn't very practical because there are billions of people praying to the same God, but I also felt as if I "sense" God. 

SC: During services at Eisner camp.

SPS: When there are weird coincidences or something that I really want to happen actually happens.

KK: I have never had a sense that God was near. I don't feel a connection to anything, even when I go to temple. I don't sense that God might be near.

TS: When something good happens I thought was not possible to happen becomes true - that is when I sense God.

BM-P: When I was with my great Grandpa after his heart attack and stroke, and I culd see him react and get better right before my eyes.

3. When other people (Jewish or not) talk about God, I think...

BR: ...that it is good that other people think God is real, or that if they don't they still consider discussing the topic.

JM: ..that I know everything about God and these people are makign things up about him.

LDM: ... that God is the same for most religions - our God, Jesus' father and Allah are all the same.

SC: ...that everyone has a slightly different view. Some people have stronger beliefs than others and some people don't believe at all.

SPS: ...I think about how everyone has very different opinions about what God is.

KK: ...about how I don't believe in God and it makes me curious what other people believe in.

TS: ...I don't react because everyone is different so they all believe something else.

BM-P: ...they could be right or they could be wrong. But I always keep an open mind, because one of their answers could become mine.

Help my campers learn...about Judging Others Favorably (Part III)

Here is the third and final round of responses from my campers in my Kesher class called Do the Right Thing at Eisner camp in Great Barrington, MA. (A new round begins Tuesday, and we will be exploring issues surrounding our ideas about God) The campers are entering 8th and 9th  grades this fall (they are in two groups). You can see the first round of questions in my posting last Thursday night and the second round from last night. 

Today we discussed the answers posted yesterday and ended the day by writing answers to questions built from the Middah of Machrio L'Chaf Zechut - Judging others favorably. Please take a look at the campers' responses and share your thoughts, other ideas and texts below or on Facebook!


1. Joshua ben Perahiah, said: “When you judge anyone, tip the scale in his/her favor. Judge the whole of a person favorably “. (Pirkei Avot 1:6) What does that mean and why should you do it?

SB: This means that if you're going to judge someone, judge them positively instead of negatively - go out of your way to see their good side.

PP: It means when you judging someone to see if they are right or wrong you should always "tip the scale" in their favor and say they are right. We should do it in camp because it will make resolving conflict easier. (Hashem will tip the scale in your favor when weighing out YOUR mitzvot and deciding whether you will go to Gan Eden or Gehenem).

MG: When you judge someone you should give them the benefit of the doubt. You should do it because you do not yet have their opinion/side of the story.

LL: It means that you shouldn't have such harsh prejudice toward others because they might not be as "bad" as they appear.

TN: Compliments. Not insults.

HA: Don't look at the bad things about a person but you should look at the good things about a person.

GM: If you are judging a person for the first time, you should judge them in favorable way. I think this is important to do because it is better to have friends than enemies. A person could be having a bad day and snap at you. If you decide they are therefore a bad person, you are creating animosity, when really, if you gave them another chance he/she could be a potential friend.

ER: If you judge a person without getting to fully know them then give them the benefit of the doubt say positive comments rather than negative ones.

2. Nachman of Bratzlov said: "The Talmud says that we should always judge other people favorably. We must also judge ourselves favorably." What does that mean and why should you do it?

SB: This means we must have self-confidence and see the good in ourselves.

PP: If you look at yourself too critically and think you are always wrong, you will have a very low self-esteem.

MG: It means you do not know how others see you. You only know how you see yourself.

LL: It means you must think of yourself well and you should do it because if you judge yourself harshly and think badly of yourself, others will think badly of you as well.

TN: Don't bring yourself down when you look at yourself, notice your beauty, you only have pros, no cons.

HA: Don't be so harsh on yourself either. We should do this because it will bring up confidence and self-esteem.

GM: You shouldn't hate yourself for making a mistake.

ER: Instead of talking harshly about myself and never looking at the bright side, give yourself the benefit of the doubt and give yourself some slack because if you do it your life will be better because you won't be judging yourself so harshly.

MS: Because how can you expect anyone else to love you if you can't even love yourself.

3. How do I resolve conflicts or disputes with others?

SB: Either by talking with the other person or simply by spending some time apart until we are both ready to forgive each other. Apologizing works too.

PP: I solve conflicts with others by looking at the conflict from their perspective and walking in their shoes (To Kill A Mockingbird - Atticus Finch) I see how I would feel if I were them and usually helps me to resolve my conflict.

MG: Find both sides of the story, as well as the story from the perspective of someone neutral. You should not judge until you know exactly what happened.

LL: I compromise with them or just talk it out and figure out why we are in a conflict if I don;t know already. If I know why we are in a conflict then I work something out, and it might not be a compromise specifically.

TN: Calmly, compromises, apologies, noticing what you did wrong, not telling the other person what they did wrong all the time.

HA: I apologize for what I did and be calm.

GM: I resolve conflict by COMMUNICATING.

ER: I solve them by trying to come up with a reasonable compromise for me and the others.

Help a group of campers learn!

I have said before that one of the principal reasons I became a Jewish educator had to do with my experiences at Olin Sang Ruby Union Institute – a Reform Jewish summer camp in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. I was a camper, counselor, unit head and faculty member over twelve summers there. I am at Eisner Camp in Great Barrington, Massachusetts right now for my sixteenth summer as a faculty member. That means I have spent part of more than half my summers at camp.

One of the things the faculty does at Eisner is called Kesher (connection). We each create a series of small group learning experiences for the older units of camp during our time here. This week my Kesher class is called Do the Right Thing: An Eisner Joint. The overall themes were determined by surveying last summer’s campers during the winter and we (the faculty – rabbis, cantors and me) each designed our courses and created descriptions in the spring. Then they got to express their own preferences. Her is the description of my current offering:

You are faced with tons of choices every day. Some you make automatically. Others require some serious thought. Where do you look for the values you will apply to make your decisions? Your parents? Your friends? Society all around us? Judaism? We are going to look in all of those places to wrestle with some tough issues. Then we are going to take our conversation online and go viral. We will create a blog using writing and video and send it out to the universe. Then we will see what the universe says and engage in a potentially viral conversation!

Today we discussed three questions around the concept of Emet – truth. Here are the questions and some of their answers. We discussed them at length after they wrote them. Please respond here or on Facebook to the questions or to their answers. We will look at your ideas in our next session! I am using initials to protect their privacy…

1. Do you think it is ever okay to omit something when sharing something important?

Yes, not telling the whole truth to protect someone’s feelings is acceptable. When someone asks about someone else, it’s okay to highlight the good parts of their personality and stopping there. AM

Yes, to keep me from getting into copious amounts of trouble. HS

Sometimes telling the WHOLE truth can distract from what you are trying to say. TJ

Yes, when saying something would hurt someone without having any positive effect, or to keep a promise. RK

Yes, if it would endanger someone. SI

Yes, if it would help someone. For example, if they were afraid of fire but loved roller coasters, and you knew this great roller coaster had flame throwers, you might not tell them. That way they would try the roller coaster and love it. If they knew about the flame throwers they might not ride. (There was a lot of conversation about this!) MW

It might depend on the age of the person you are talking to. Some things might be too complicated or frightening for young children. HR

You might choose not to tell the whole truth in order to keep a confidence – something you promised to keep secret. GM

Yes, if the whole truth would do more harm than good. TT

Yes, if it is to protect someone’s privacy. RA

It’s okay if it doesn’t alter the entire story. JE

2. Do you think it is ever okay to sugar coat the truth?

Yes. When hate something your parent made for dinner, you might gently urge them not make it again or so often… MW

It depends on the situation and who benefits. LG

No. I is better to be honest so the person you are talking to doesn’t embarrass themselves. SI

Yes, like #1, this can spare someone’s feelings or keep a situation from going bad. JD

Ok in a teaching situation. RK

It’s OK in order to make someone feel better or more confident. My friend was nervous about coming to camp and I told her that lots of our friends were excited to see her. I exaggerated a little bit to make her feel better. AP

No, because it is only hurting yourself more and it does not do anything to help you – even though I do sugar coat it sometimes! MP

Yes, ignorance is bliss! DE

Yes. Sometimes a little sugar coating can make a hard truth easier to take. JJ

3. Do you think is ever okay to actually lie?

Yes, although it is best to avoid it if at all possible. JJ

Yes, but only if the truth is really painful and doesn’t need to be told. MP

Yes, to save a life, protect from unnecessary harm or if it is a harmless joke. NS

It is okay to lie when the answer won’t hurt anyone and it’ll make somebody feel better. To me, it’s all about making people happy and balancing that with telling the truth. RK

To shield them from harm. HS

Intentions matter. LG

Yes, if it will help people in the long run. MW

Again, please help our conversation and our learning by jumping in! More tomorrow!

A View to the Past with an Eye to the Future: The Reform Movement Celebrates 60 Years of Camping

This was published by eJewishPhilanthropy on July 17. It was written by one of my mentors. He's the bomb. So is camp! I am headed to Eisner Camp where my sons are (one as a camper, one as a counselor) to serve as faculty. Camp is one of the main reasons I became a Jewish educator.



by Jerry Kaye

This summer marks 60 years of Reform Movement camping. This Shabbat, July 21st, we will mark this milestone at the Union for Reform Judaism’s Olin-Sang-Ruby Union Institute Camp (OSRUI) in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin. But the real celebration is focused on the influence of camp on generations of Reform Jews.

Born in 1952 on the shores of Lac La Belle in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin, the Union for Reform Judaism (URJ) camping system has grown in leaps and bounds. The URJ now operates 13 camps across North America with specialty programs focused on the environment, special needs, Israel, sports, leadership and more. Our camp and Israel programs now serve more than 10,000 campers each summer.

But these metrics aren’t what matters most for the future of the Jewish people. As the Foundation for Jewish Camp’s study CAMP WORKS: The Long-term Impact of Jewish Overnight Camp (2011) showed, “summers at Jewish camp create adults who are committed to the Jewish community and engaged in Jewish practice.” The relationships and ideas that are nourished at camp represent the real vitality and impact of the past 60 years of Reform Jewish camping.

Take OSRUI as an example. The acres have grown from a mere eight to over 200; the facilities have expanded from a few buildings to a full campus. And activity choices have expanded dramatically.
But it’s still the people who have made the difference over the years. Campers have gone on to become rabbis, Jewish educators and cantors, as well as congregational leaders, taking their rightful places in the world of Jewish leadership.

One example is Daniel Shapiro who spent years as a camper, counselor and then unit head. He is now the U.S. Ambassador to Israel. Ambassador Shapiro will tell you that the many years that he spent at OSRUI were crucial to his understanding of Jewish life and to his love of Israel.

Possibly the most famous URJ Camp alum was Debbie Friedman z”l, who started in the early 70’s as an enthusiastic young woman dedicated to changing the face of Jewish music throughout the world. She spent years as a counselor teaching our campers to “Sing Unto God.” Debbie’s commitment to OSRUI didn’t end when she moved on to sharing her music in every corner of Jewish life. She always identified OSRUI as her home as she created Hava Nashira, the songleading and music workshop that now welcomes nearly 250 camp staff, cantors and music teachers from every corner of North America. Jeff Klepper, Debbie and I mentored those new to Jewish music as well as seasoned musicians. Debbie returned to Oconomowoc whenever called to create a concert or just to teach children the splendor of liturgy.

That’s what camp is all about – it’s about creating an environment where Jewish youth can find a spiritual home. The most important place at camp is not the arts or sports centers, it is a simple log on the ground with a youngster on one end and a caring rabbi or counselor on the other end, learning together to love Judaism.

The future holds great promise for Jewish camping as we create new relationships with congregations, collegians, synagogue leaders and parents who all come together to celebrate the uniqueness of a camping movement that found its roots on the shores of Lac La Belle some 60 years ago.

Jerry Kaye is the Director of the Olin-Sang-Ruby Union Institute in Oconomowoc, Wisconsin.